Lightness of Being

8-28-26

I’m at the library. Its been a bad series of days. I am now in some sort of war that i don’t want to be part of. A game i didn’t want to play. But they are acting like the “voices” are real when they want but not ever admitting it or being honest about the truth. But…i hear them so i must listen to the sounds and not the people, who tell me otherwise. This is not going well…

And at the library in Wayne, they immediately are there to attack me but.,…Its different. Its outside not inside my headphones. They are using the computers around me to cause the noises so that i can hear them on the outside? I don't know but they have shown ingenuity in fabricating a mental illness without any regard for….mental illness. Disregarding it. So this just seems off, not the usual way.

I need this to be clear. It is not in my head, they are spending precious time to do this and i have a lot of evidence. But they think its not an issue and want me to do something and blah blah blah. I can’t have a second alone!

So this is what i have found out from the unending drone of their mouths…They have records of me going back probably 12 years. Magneto has gathered and sorted out all the data nicely so they can “investigate” me. Not only is it of me in my bedroom….its of my phone. Not records or browsing history, its screen videos. They are telling me this because they are talking about a specific thing that they “found.” The only way is if someone has this data and is going through it. Its simple. They do not care about my privacy, have invaded it totally, and recorded it as if its a movie or book that they can read at any time they want. And its in the car and all in the house. I don’t understand this but its true and they are now taunting me in such a different way, trying to tell me how much they hate me and how awful i am and opinions and moralizations and “leave”….and kill yourself. They are trying to kill me.

I still don’t have a clue where the camera is but they seem to think i do know and that its obvious….i think maybe the areas where it could be but nothing is there on the wall or ceiling. The mics…is really impossible to find out how many or where those bugs could be but i’m, sure there in the walls too. The speakers….at least three directions and three places….in the walls. Its just there. All i have to do is break the fucking walls, idk. Through deduction, cameras, mics, and speakers have to exist! They are telling me (and i know its them not in my head) what they see and hear through sound producing electronic devices. If I just swept the room (COMPLETELY LEGAL and in my rights) they would find everything…I don’t even want to talk about DEW’s, i barely can prove the voices. I have some idea and some proof, but they talk all the time, taunting, harassing, mocking, insulting. Now they will go and just blab in full sentences trying to tell me that they are right and….i am wrong? Wrong about what?

They are going to lie. They are going to deny. They are going to pretend they have no idea. They will press the false idea (in which they have no fucking feelings towards anyway) that its my mental illness, its in my head. I already know this. They keep threatening me with blackmail but what the fuck is it for? They have compromising videos of me that HAVE ALREADY humiliated me, what else do they demand? My death. On top of their lies, is their fake goodness. I won’t point it out now anymore. They use it against me, as if i am ungrateful or spiteful over the positive things they give or act out. It has nothing to do with that, it is completely separate. They are performing Chasm in all ways and its been going on so long that both me and them are normalizing it. The only thing is i do not accept this abuse and they know it.

I have some ideas about what they might have done or are doing. I am trying to get records from the police, but i doubt by myself it will go well. I have a feeling they have talked to them and everyone about the awfulness i have done. Nothing to my face, but all behind my back. Just as i believe they infest themselves in all my doctors and therapist brains by contacting them and lying about how i am doing and what i am doing. Its so bad that i am actively now, recording myself everywhere i go, but especially in my house.

They might have even used this website, hidden from everyone and should be unknown, as an example of my “craziness". I am neither confirming or denying the information on here especially when it comes to DEW’s and other more conspiracy theory type of ideas. I had talked to AI’s to get info, but it does not mean i have believed what they have said point blank. I am just posting it for the ease of obtaining and reading things. Nothing is black or white. I have been betrayed by them not the other way around.

On this site, i have noticed a Tor user. And also the use of something called “wechat”. They seem to be in a chat like room when they abuse me. I don’t know if its anything but eh…

And the frame. They are always talking about something very awful and downright despicable and i think this is what they are using to defame me, not the truth. I believe i heard a cop (YUP) at the library say it and then he tapped my chair because i had my head down. The library in my hometown is so spoiled by some lie that i hear the younger lady their say horrible things to me. All under this gaslighting nonsense that has been occurring. Its all occurring with heads turned therefore nobody is guilty. I’m sick of this already.

If they try to frame me or have already done so, then it will get ugly, because what the fuck is it! Its just so that I am completely unaware of what i didn’t do that if i found out it would be proof! I need golden proof.

Meanwhile…I have to live with the fact that EVERYONE IN THE WORLD HATES ME…my family keeps at it, but it just seems, because of there taunting and recordings, somehow being used (?) or transferred or sent over the internet, revenge porn of me, i am looked at for nitpicking nothings of no proof of nothing? I don’t understand how they just take what they want from my privacy and fucking use it against me. Weaponize a word. And keep on repeating it. Its so tiring. Nothing has changed! 13 years of this and i believe its the same thing occurring now that occurred than. People trying to get me to commit suicide over legal and private sexuality. When the fuck will the damn break.