Burnt Out

I really feel burnt out about this. I believe i did all i can do and i don’t know if i can do anymore.

The truth is in here somewhere, i know, but its a mess and i cannot unravel it now. They hound me still with these speakers and noises like voices, harassing me with vile words with no risk involved. And i cannot do anything else myself. But since they cut me off from the world by controlling everything in my environment leaving me quite helpless and needing my parents to live, and my bedroom, and family, what can i do? I have nowhere to go. As if they are teaching me a lesson “look, you are helpless so TAKE IT MOTHERFUCKER!”

Because of whatever the fuck it is that is causing these symptoms and my depressive state of being, i cannot pursue this further at the moment. It is so heavy, the stuff they are doing and have did, that i cannot feel anything but abandoned by everyone in one state or another. Most of the world cannot reach me but those close are still so far away from me. Nobody cares. I guess nobody cares about a beaten puppy until someone who does finally arrives to save it. But prior to that, they are surrounded by the abusers and the appeasers. Treated like garbage for years. Some of these beaten dogs never see love. They will die before getting the help they need for JUSTICE.

I feel i won’t find justice or peace before i die. I do not intend to die but the group of people i call Nemsis (i call them fascists now) only seem to want one thing: for me to die or disappear. Therefore…i feel kinda like i’m slowly being murdered. I tried to kill myself 3 months ago….because of their constant harassment and spying and stalking etc…And they are still doing it!

I’m very tired