This whole situation seems like a dream. I would say a nightmare but what’s the difference nowadays. All dreams are nightmares now.

I just need something to be said very plainly and clearly because everyone seems to be creating a version of me or events that are clearly fallacious or twisted into something not even remotely real. This is especially true when talking about MY INTENTIONS, or MY BELIEFS, or MY EMOTIONS, or MY THOUGHTS.

Nemsis, now clearly my family in disguise all along (who saw that coming :/), is using the communication channels and speakers hijacked by Donkey (brother in law) and whoever else might be an accomplice. They are harassing's me constantly everywhere i go. This may seem “unreal” but it is true nonetheless and, since i am under the control and safety of my parents, and they seem like tools being used by this entity, nothing i own or am near is without a possible taint. And since they are now showing a persistence like never before, all of them coordinating, making sure i am always in distress and not in a good place and never alone. NEVER HAVE PRIVACY. They are trying to break me, obviously, which worked in the past but i said this time it will not work. I learned, i adapted. I will not fall into the same traps. And i am never ever ever going to hurt myself again. Not for a single other person in this world will i touch myself….not like that! I mean, i will not kill myself ever!

This being said, i need to make sure that its clear that i am not seeking anything out. I have no plan in this. I have no idea what i am doing or what to do. I am alone and i now lack the people i trusted and needed for my safety and upkeep. I was foolish, sure, thinking i could be a hikikomori and have my family accept this, but i also was tricked into believing i was mentally ill and psychotic this whole time when they actually WERE surveilling me everywhere and getting into and watching all my devices and defaming me to people when they got angry and….most of all, they were creating hallucinatory like voices through technology. This point here, is really rough to say and explain to anybody because it sounds too much like mental illness.

That is the point! that is why i can hear them now and have heard them almost all the time for the last five months working in some sort of schedule to make sure i BREAK. I refuse to except anything but the truth in this. They seem to think they can record me saying shit to myself or, for the last five months, talking directly back to the shadowy nothing that i hear from wherever the fuck they talk through is okay to use as some sort of evidence of something. They make it sound like recording me without my consent or knowledge for 12 years or more is okay….but at the same time will deny that they are abusing me on purpose through the speakers. I have some idea of how it works, but it won’t be hard to discover if investigated.

That isn’t even why i am writing this. I got sidetracked. This is the problem. I don’t want anything from anyone. I just want to be at peace and not bothered by them. They have been doing this shit to me for….18 years maybe. I thought it was 12 but it seems their saying 18 years ago something happened. I don’t care anymore why. Their why is completely irrelevant. And not only that, since they are using it to get me to…do something, it is blackmail. I have heard them using something from my past, a video or pictures, as blackmail. I believe it has two reasons, the reason i see as sensible is that they are trying to keep me SILENT about THEIR CRIMES. That makes sense to me, seeing how i have been trying to gather proof and data on this shit forever, but the last three years i have honed onto it. But they seem to have a separate reason which is shocking me into some sort of daze…..They seem to have it in their heads that i will commit suicide. Its not even debatable now. It is what they believe. They I have heard it many times from almost all of them. “kill yourself”. So….i think they were doing this and continue to make it worse because they think it will drive me into the hands of death through….guilt? Love? Despair? I don’t know, but they seem to think i am evil for NOT DOING IT!

Now, i don’t understand what they wanted to do or what their plan was ever. But this is what is happening. They seem to have this idea and cant get rid of it. I have to die in their minds….i don’t know why. They are the ones who victimized me. I have the proof. I have the body of evidence. I have the experience. I have the pain.

I tried to die for them and i failed. NEVER AGAIN. And because of the fact i didn’t back down and i stood up for myself harder, they are fucking getting worse! Its like i caught them red handed watching me in my bedroom everyday for 12 years while they mock and insult and harass me with these fucking voices and watch every little itty bitty thing i do on my devices as if….I was a TV SHOW. They normalized it over these years.

I was GASLIT into believe i was a paranoid schizophrenic…..sigh….I don’t need to talk about this anymore because its bad and i know its bad but they cannot see how bad it is! Its fine, i don’t care, let them do them.

What i have to say though is simple. I am after NOTHING. I seek NO REVENGE. I do not want anyone HURT OR HARMED. I don’t anyone to be PUNISHED. I don’t want anyone’s livelihood to be jeopardized. I don’t need…..want…i just don’t care about these things anym ore because what i really want is to be left alone.

I just want to be left alone.

I just want to be left alone. I don’t want this abuse anymore. i don’t want to be SEEEEEN! I don’t want to be stalked like a fucking animal. I don’t want to be harassed by NOISE! I don’t want to be hurt by the chaotic WAVES of unseen Radio Frequencies MODULATED Oscillating electromagnetic INDUCTION! Whatever the fuck it is or however the fuck it works, i do not want to be hurt by INVISIBLE WEAPONS!

I don’t care if they are found out to be true or not….i don’t want to even think about it anymore….I’m tired. I want to be left alone.

I want to be left alone!

I didn’t hurt anyone ever in my entire life! Why are they continuing to act like the lies they tell are true? I cannot understand something they madeup….I don’t care about any of this bullshit. Its stupid. I didn’t hurt another human, i am not a sexual predator, this is stupid. They are doing all of this because they fucked up and can’t just admit it….I don’t care.

I don’t want to be hurt anymore! I don’t want to be watched. I just want to be left alone.

Everyone must be thinking something especially different according to one of these people within this group, who is a social manipulation genius, who will be able to turn people toward them and away from me. I understand this. And the hacker, they can control everything i do with technology and i cannot escape if i don’t get rid of him or stop him. I get it. And i have depended upon my parents, my father, forever but at the same time took for granted something that didn’t seem to mean much. I felt i could exist by myself within a system, but you cannot live within a system without being a part of it. This was stupid and now i am within a system and i am a problem. They are trying to dispose of me. I am hearing “leave,” if this is what the truth is, then my parents are trying to evict me. Of course i expect this and understand all of this….

But i cannot understand the secret nature of this being okay with anyone. I have them on record saying “how can you believe your own family could do this to you?” And “How can you blieve we are this evil?” They also denied everything they were doing at every confrontation.. Along with the hospitalizations caused by the very nature of what they were doing, what i call CHASM, i now have a history of being “psychotic” and “hearing voices.”

Because of this, it is a very delicate, almost impossible situation for me to get help from certain types of people without them immediately questioning whether this is JUST A MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE.

It isn’t a mental health issue! i am mentally ill and have suffered for probably my entire life with depression and anxiety. I only ended up in the hospital because i was “paranoid” about being secretly surveilled….But it turned out to be TRUE! And my family excepted me and let me back into the house! what the fuck was i going to do? i didn’t have proof. I didn’t know if i was psychotic or not. I didn’t know if i had a delusion. I believed them! I TRUSTED THEM!

I trusted everyone who had authority. i was broken. I was deceived by everyone around me. They had tricked me. They had pranked me. It was certainly most definetly my fucking brother-in-law and the GOONS in my old job THEA INC. that did this in the first place as a joke or something. They probably just hacked into my phone first.

The thing is, i have NO IDEA RIGHT NOW WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HAPPENED! This is my best guess. This is the best i can come up with with what i have. I need to KNOW EVERYTHING. Or, i need to be away and safe from everyone who would harm me or my NAME! IT IS THE ONLY ONE I HAVE!

But i have been talking and writing about this FOREVER now and I TALK ALOT. I write ALOT TOO. And it seems, they have been recording my words and taking my data from me. NOTHING IS SACRED. What the fuck is this? Why would they just think it is okay to do this and act like i know anything about what they are even talking about from the past. I have said everything when i was in my privacy! Every word, every idea, i have said some dumb shit, dark shit, funny shit, i have talked shit about people i have talked about every little instance of my life i have lied and have told the truth but…..

In the end, Sticks and STone may BREAK your BONES….WORDS CAN NEVER HURT YOU! Taught to me as a child by one of this very group people. I remember the day.

Yet, they seem to be using my words, RIPPING it from the frame of my past and constructing some idea of me. A character. A fiction. They do not know it but that is what they are doing. They are creating a fictional version of me to hate. Yet, why do they act the way they do in front of me? why do they act like nice people and like they love me? Because THEY DO! They just think, because this whole thing is, and they believe it will remain, INVISIBLE, than who will know. It is the perfect….crime….

It is a crime. I refuse to accept that this isn’t abuse. That this isn’t built on a lie. That they haven’t neglected me. That they haven’t hurt me in so many ways for so long! If i deserved punishment for whatever i did IGOTIT! enough is enough. I don’t even understand what the fuck they are talking about! But no matter what, i will always have a clean conscience over this. Nobody deserves this. Why would they do this? I don’t care anymore.

I just want to be left alone. Voices cant hurt me so i can deal with that. But the hacking and stalking and threating and defamation got to stop. I have to make sure it stops. I also need to move away. I need to get away from them and their circle of influence because i am certain that this is now INSTITUTIONAL GASLIGHTING. The core group is just 5 people and they know the actual truth. But it seems people around me are under their influence based on….I have zero clue.

But i also know that i am clearly talking to myself and look a little mental. I am mentally ill. They have driven me crazy and i might have odd behaviors, sure, but if this is because a reason….I have to say it isn’t for some sexual crime that didn’t happen. If it was, then i would be confronted by someone already. I would have talked to the police. SOMETHING WOULD HAVE HAPPENED Already. The fact that nothing has happened is proof to me that whatever the reason for this bias isn’t based on that. It has to be based on another thing that i am, and that thing is mentally ill.

Crazy. Insane. Retarted. Loser. TALKING TO YOURSELF. Yes, odd behaviors for sure, but i am not mentally CHALLANGED. That is a different thing. I have a mood disorder and was tricked into psychosis over 12 years of being abused and gaslight, so do i qualify as disabled? According to the government i certainly do. And i am very much in need of help to live which i was getting from my family, no, my parents. If that stops, i will be in need of assistance from other people or the government. Because, i am helpless….they made me learn helplessness through this, but i am helpless. I needed help for everything. And now, it seems my family thinks i would be SAFER IN THE GRAVE, then outside their “protection.”

It really baffles my mind. I would take my chances. But i do not accept this fucking bullshit refusal to accept their actions. I mean, if they really mean it, if they really think that they are in the right, than what the fuck is the secret nature of all this for! It is secret, because they are in DENIAL. Nobody want to be CAUGHT for a CRIME they might have committed, that is what the truth is. And i know this, but they seem to be not capable of accepting this fact. They have fucking broken me for a stupid reason that didn’t exist until they confirmed i was building a “case” against their crimes.

They seem to have gone insane. Instead of stopping. Instead of backtracking a little. Or laying off. They went further and hurt me more and even the physical pain is always going on. But, more importantly, they seem to have gone into the “data” that must have been collected by donkey over….12-18 years….Jesus Christ! I mean how the fuck does this make me feel! But anyway, they seem to have been going through my past, piece by piece, collecting everything up and not only that, using what i have said RECENTLY, in my privacy, in my bedroom, to myself, quietly (mics…they are the house now), in the BATHROOM…

And they pieced together a compilation…is my guess. They think they can take the negative stuff, they can remove context, and just forget the rest of my WHOLE FUCKING EXISTENCE. They create a character based on past instances because they have recorded me illegally in my privacy for this long! OF course they can make anyone hate me! What the fuck is so hard about that? I am saying this though, that is proof of their crimes and i NEED IT.

Not to mention the fact that they can just alter and use AI to literally make up fake videos and pictures now. Don’t be fooled by them. This is all bullshit. They are liars. They only tell me what they want me to hear, but i have heard literal idiocy come out of them. “torturing puppies”, “trafficked teenagers”, “Boner at the pool”, and then the most horrible words ever spoken, told to me like it is nothing. “pedo”, “CP”, KIDS KIDS KIDS”, “12, 18,15,13” i mean they are feeding me this like it will be subliminally put into my brain and made true. The problem is this simple thing….

I am talking back. And i know they can hear EVERY SINGLE BREATHE. Why? Because, they respond to me IN REAL TIME. I hear them always responding in real time back to what i say almost immediately, meaning, they are using some means of talking, like through a chat, a webpage, that can be accessed by anyone given the credentials, so that more people can further abuse me. HOW THE FUCK CAN THIS BE VOICES IN MY HEAD? it is literally impossible for me to even believe anything i have heard this whole time was pareidolia or even a hallucination anymore, because for the last 5 months, they have been doing this constantly! EVERYWHER I GO.

But, there are exceptions. I have noticed times where they couldn’t be heard….and i could be heard. I could get away from these so called “VOICES”. They are not voices, they are this group and now more people are joining in on the fun?

Somehow i have to make this insanity that they are committing against me look real and true, but the more they do it, the more it gets crazier. “Everything is hacked”. “Im being watched everywhere” “they are talking back, these voices” “They are hurting me with invisible DEW weapons that use sound or RF waves”. All of these things, every single one, will sound crazy to someone WHO NEVER EXPERIENCED THIS SHIT. That is mostly everyone! I was one of these people.

I w

Just to be LEFT ALONE is IMPOSSIBLE?