Link in the CHAIN
I couldn’t change anything. I tried to just make it stop at the very least. I failed.
This is now going to get more serious because I am defending myself against very sophisticated, normal, and remorseless individuals who are incapable of even a slim amount of empathy….pity….anything toward me. And they are also my support system, my caretakers, my family…..
They still are doing the thing where they are acting nice toward me, like nothing is a problem, but this is just impossible to deal with in any way than to fight back now. I really don’t want to fight, i don’t have much in me and because of this entire systematic controlling and pervasive CHASM I am weakened. I don’t even understand how i’m still going.
But since they seem to need to continue abusing me with this CHASM (possibly other things), I have no other choice than to continue trying my damned hardest to get my hands on every single piece of information through research and observation in order to do the thing that a person in my position has to be wary of: being believed.
I know myself, without a doubt, that everything fed to me overtly is a form of either control, manipulation, or emotional abuse. Even the things i thought were really kind of helpful….or i gave them the benefit of doubt have turned on me. I do not trust them. I do not feel safe. I do not know what to do. I don’t want to fight anyone ever. I just want to have assurance that i won’t be abused and that i can a piece of privacy. Because i don’t remember a time when i did, its been that long. I just feel so helpless. But its learned helplessness. I am stronger than i ever imagined. I am more couragious than i ever thought possible. I am a better person because of this in a odd sort of way, it helped me find out so much i didn’t know about life and human interaction and society. It might be too late, but that is their line. “no future” is what they try to convince me with. No FUTURE is also the threat.
This is now the repository of any information regarding evidence to support my claims.
