Revelation 042525
This day will be known has RV042525 from now on within my writings. Like other special days I give abbreviations for: Big Bang (BB for short), H24, Mem23, Taxday.
Why? First, because it has revealed something very big to me. Second, cause it seems to be tilting into the possibility of total breakdown. I finally figured out “the way”, but really don’t want to and would like to have waited. But…circumstances are greatly speeding things up. “The center cannot hold” for you Tennyson fans.
Why Recording Voices is so Difficult
I’m not going to write out what the revelation is, but it obviously has to do with Nemsis and CMS (Which I now call CHASM-Camera, Hacking, Abuse, Sound, Mic.) The more I’m convinced its ALL true, I always do some diving into the files to find something substantial for hours only to come up with “that kinda sounds like it”. The fact is, it is nearly impossible to record these voices with the tech I have and the foreknowledge they possess. I just thought I could enhance it, with Audacity, and it must be there. But the way mics work is not the way ears work. Although I can hear these tiny vibrations of sounds vaguely, a mic is just picking up ALL NOISES. I live on a busy street so cars driving buy will just blanket out everything. On top of that, it’s hard to get an Omni-directional mic topic up all these small sounds. I am looking for the sounds that every person in the audio industry wants to reduce or remove.
Sound is much more complex and I did a lot of research and learned a lot. I chose that first, even though it seemed to be the least likely thing to be “real”. I could have focused on “where are the cameras” or “how is the network being invaded along with my devices.”
I just knew, if those fucking voices were real, and those speakers were placed around my room, it would vindicate me almost completely. On top of that, the voices just reveal EVERYTHING TO ME, so if I could record what the mocking, taunting, harassing, insulting, hate-filled voice’s words, it would be sufficient enough proof of the other things. And finally, the voices have been so vital for my downward spirals for more than 10 years. I tried to listen to the professionals that I was having hallucinations and needed meds for that, but this, if I’m right, was awful advice. Especially for how long it occurred…it’s really something to think about…not in a good way…I mean, from my perspective it is unforgivable, evil, and sick. And as I think through all these years how the whole picture comes together, has been absolutely cancer to my ability to live.
And now, it seems to be true. For a while now, it would seem truer everyday….then setbacks made me go back into doubt. NOBODY supported me and this abuse just went on. And, in cycles, it would recede a little and, for reasons I am also more aware now, come back with a vengeance to once again poison me.
Even without the Revelation, My Gut Told Me
I do not know what will happen now. I don’t know what to do. I do not have a plan. I don’t want this to be true! But, since it is my life and my environment, I could not go on without confronting this. I tried in the past in various ways. I would ask the UNIT, at different times, straight up, without beating around the bush. And they would never budge, say the same old BS “impossible! Impossible! Why would anyone do this?” and my favorite “Do you really think we are capable of doing that?” What is that, some evil irony? They obviously knew it was wrong with these type of statements. But always, pushed it into something else “it’s the meds you are taking” “You need to talk to someone” “isn’t there some way they can do something for the voices?”
See, they never broke the idea that, whenever I ask if you were talking, is not THEM, even when it’s when they are in the other room and say something. It’s just “I’ll just lie about what I said, how can he prove otherwise? What is he going to do about it?”
One thing always struck me though. The defensiveness they always took. If what I was saying wasn’t true, it wouldn’t make them tense or angry or take it personal. It would be funny. I know them. They would laugh if it wasn’t true and I would know I was being stupid. But instead, the position held was “you are sick and need help for these voices and you especially need to stop ACCUSING US OR ANYONE FOR DOING THIS TO YOU.” Why?
Imagine if the delusion was “I think you are really aliens that live on the moon and only come down here because of me. You think you have to cause even though I am your blood, I am an abnormal alien who cannot travel there.” etc. Would they react with “you need help and stop accusing us of being aliens?” Why? Cause its untrue!
Why worry and be pissed off if I am experiencing delusions and hallucinations? If that were the case, then I would have to just deal with a symptom. No matter what, delusions won’t make me act. I know that, from experience, if actions need to be taken then a very serious inner investigation would occur. And that is what I did. Everything in me said they were lying to me and mostly everything was true. But I didn’t make that how I behaved, acted or treated them.
I had to prove it!
Reality Checking
So, for the last 2-3 years I have reality checked all these delusions and….It looks like it’s not a symptom. It is the reality of the environment and the people in it and how they act. I write my experiences in journals and notes all the time as they are. So, 10 a.m. I just started hearing V2 again. It sounds like its coming from the left side of my room. Not, “I AM HEARING VOICES”….cause that is not the experience. I am hearing a specific person’s voice, in low decibels, somewhere to the left, or at least that is how it feels. If I do hear words, I write the words too.
I’m not saying, V2’s actual identity is using a phone to transmit her venting opinions to me about how I suck, cause I do not know if that is true either, even though it seems to be way more probable and it’s possible.
My experiences speak to a constant barrage of abuse. Insane amounts of gas lighting and lying. Twofaced interactions. OJ constantly talking about what I’m doing while he is home in whispers, exposing that he must be able to see, hear, and see my phone. 6 main perpetrators that form this conspiracy are capable of using whatever communication network that exists inside the house to talk, specifically about me. They literally created a way to be able to communicate while simultaneously causing me to “hear voices”, and only for that purpose! Any other subject is handled another way.
They seem to have built this elaborate cage for me and think they have the ability to scare me, put me down or in my place, use me as a scapegoat, blackmail me with embarrassing data, control all my devices so I cannot even try to get help or research without them knowing while also being able to tell what I am doing on said devices….oh and the car is bugged….probably more…
And they think this is normal. They have each other to support and share the same disdain for me. I know for a certainty, that some if not all think I need to be controlled cause I am “Insane, crazy, deranged, a maniac” and think that my pleas of civil rights don’t apply because how they see me. I am bipolar but have zero history of violence or criminality. Even though they believe in this cage, it is a completely made up caste they put me in and, under the law, it is unreasonable, without justification, and completely illegal.
I am not a danger to anyone, myself, or property. If I was to be examined by a doctor 99 percent of the time, they would deem me lucid and in no need for any restraints. I have no record.
You cannot treat someone this badly just because you hate them or dislike them!
