Red in the FACE, White in the BALLS

4-19-25

I am once again hounded by V2/V3. lets just say they are close Female voices that are in other towns or even states today and not in the house. And this is all while taking a shower.

Yes, this is going to be what happened today after I cleaned my room and finally found my remote which has been missing. Why has it been missing?

Well, I was in a very depressive state. Almost catatonic. It made me not aware or care about almost anything. I literally would lay in been with my eyes closed. Can’t watch TV. Can’t play games. I see a therapist but… And my “support group” are too cool and normal to see anythinng other than a loser, instead of seeing a man who is living with misery as a pillow.

This is a long story, and I have been sending emails to myself about this for years and writing in journals and writing other places. Basically, I have had a very detailed account of my experiences. Now I even have plenty of recording of audio and video of MYSELF.

So basically, after 5 weeks without a certain med that turned this malaise around without turning into addiction, something called Provigil, I was able to get this from my doctor. And oh boy, today, my mood did a 180…

now for the hard part. Suffering within the depression for those 5 weeks, my pain was internal. I was in physical pain and moaned and just couldn’t do anything and just slept as much as I could. Nobody fucking cares. I got even suicidal, looking up some plans….it really did seem hopeless for me.

Reversal

Thank God for certain meds so that I can live and feel good enough to stand up and….Stand up for myself!

So...Insiders…..my roomates...take a guess as who I am talking about. Particularly the male counterpart (the female I love without condition...but I don’t how far this abuse goes.) I do not want to say who they are ovviously.

While cleaning my room, in such horrible shape, I laid down in the durt, got on my knees and vacuumed and looked for that freaking remote which I found. Now...for 11 years, I have been hearing them talking in low voices while inside the house. I will no longer call these “voices in my head.” The experience is “they are speaking low but stll high enough so I can hear.” This, in combination with actual speakers...i am not lying, a communication device is allowing them to talk to each other and to me from different locations. But the voices ( i will call these voices) are directed at me and about me and I can identify them.

For years I have been gaslighted that they are not doing it. But the truth is they are and the foundation of this monumental crime is about to shatter.

But anyway, they said they were going outside and I needed to shave so I took a shower….

Why can I hear them? Are they in the kitchen? The garage? But I hear them talking about me shaving.

So I did something I don’t normally do, I got naked in the batthroom. Embarraassed, I really want to believe they wouldn’t record me in the bathroom. Well, actually, they do record my voice, because they respond to what I do say. And then, he said “he doesn’t care”...i was having a panic attack when I dawned on me that they were watching me in real time as I stood naked in the bathroom to shave. I wanted to run and get some klonopin cuase I could feel it but instead I just continued to shave and hear them talk.

He suddenly got defensive. “he doesn’t care” I basically said how stupid it was to say this to a person who has not taken off his shirt in front of people since 13. I’m in horrble shape. There was a seperation however, since I could not be sure of any of this. I could be sure they heard me but to see me too? God.

Then, he did what he must always do in these situations that seem to require extra help and contacted V2….the mastermind. I heard a bunch of huey, trying to finish my shave and then….i heard the common accusation that they depend upon in order to torture and abuse me.

Defamation

I have been writing about the defamation for a while. I had to get over the embarrassment of the fact that...close family members had recorded me masterbating and watching porn starting 15-20 years ago.. This led to multiple suicide attempts and a crushed life.

But, time healed those shame wounds and I realized I had not crossed the line ever. I never ever watched anything illigal. I am sure of this but I also have a large history with pornagrapy. I stopped downloading or owning it 12 years ago (during the heyday of pirating movies etc), so all the porn I do see is on the internet. And not the deep web, on pornhub, reddit, and other mainstream platforms. I can name….alot of porn actors. I’ve seen millions of images. It is just a normal fact of life. I barely ever even search, but I browse by hitting similar things.

Statement

Basically, I am making a statement that all porn I have consumed has been performed legally with actors and are pure fantasy. NEVER have I seen Child Abuse Material. NEVER.

But low and behold, this is the go too put down, threat, abusive treatment of me is by saying “you are a monster”.

A year ago, I heard a threat that actually made me call the cops but it lead to nothing but a hospital stay and I ended up having covid. I went back home and they continued the abuse!

So, while in the process of shaving and showering today, V2 made a statement such as “you downloaded a program” or “on a platform you use” had a 15/16/17/18 year old it. That is all I heard.

Why do they watch me while I look at porn?

So, this is the question that I have no legit anser for. They are fully aware of every little piece of pornagraphy I see and make statements about homosexuality, how disgusting anal is, and believing rough porn is rape. The girls, I can understand their ignorance. But my roomate….who I have seen his porn when I was younger? Like…do they live in the real world?

I know its all fake and fantasy! Its my right to have privacy!

They have attacked my sexuality itself. I am without a companion, sexless. But I still want to get off. Why do they torture me for whatever I do when NONE OF IT IS ILLEGAL.

One other form of porn which may be confusing is Hentai. Hentai is a cartoon version from Japan mostly and do include very disturbing and unatural stuff...in the form of a comic book. These are cartoons. Nobody was injured. I really liked it when I was underage but still watch it from time to time. You can buy this stuff on Amazon so...not illegal….or CAD….But they reallly really think it is!

And I have been using Hentai specifically to manipulate them by seeing is they react. Yup, I am not even searching for myself sometimes, I am just trying to see what offends them. All the while, I make sure to say “Do not monitor me! This is illegal! I do not consent.”

All in all, I have been so careful with this aspect because I know they were going to try and frame me as some sort of Pedo and I will gladly go to court to fucking clear my name cause its fucking ridiculous.

But that is not why I made this email piece. Whatever she accused me today is BS and Idc, I just need it made clear that it is a nothingburhger within this conspiracy that deems to destroy me.

I just want to further this idea that, for the last three years now, I have been reality checking every type of abuse I feel I am up against and….have really better understand it but….i just don’t know what to do and I am alone. NO SUPPORT.

Any CAM that exists (and it shouldn’t) near or in my room or devices was put there because I do not download anything! I am not fucking stupid to….lets say I had a child….to put that child in a possition to frame an innocent man by training them to hate them. (of course, just hypothetical.)