Am I Diving Headwards into Mt. Doom

I don’t know what to do. I can’t live peacefully in my home. So i have taken some foward steps in figuring out some new way of living.

But will it end in failure? My life is nothing but failure. I could always just die another day. It doesn’t have to be now. I just cannot live this way anymore. Even if it ends in failure, I’m doomed where i stand. I might as well fight. Stand up for myself. I failed to do so for my entire life and now, with some actual self-esteem, i want to live a life and help people like me.

Why are Norms like this? I was peaceful and a pacisfist. I still am. But why pick on somebody who wants nothing but peace in his life? i made mistakes but i changed. Nobody should suffer forever. No-one deserves this punishment.

at 12:30 i hear them suddenly while listening to my headphones on my fourth phone. I’m at the library and being harassed and stalked. My fourth phone has been hacked and monitored. So the emails i sent are probably going to be deleted or something idk.

They are completely blocking me from getting help while i have to struggle with the fact that my family hates me this much. What the fuck am i to do?