New Project L

I have gone through a lot over the past 2 months and i haven’t written about it yet. I don’t feel my voice or my writing skills are honed enough to tackle it. I doubt they ever will be. I don’t care how it sounds or whatever, it is for me until it is right and than maybe someone else can read it.

I plan on attempting to write from my perspective in regards to how i experience the world and people. This will include everything from the voices i hear, the paranoid thoughts i have, and the delusional thinking. How is this different? Well, before i wrote everything with the belief that it was an external phenemena that i was experiencing and people were all gaslighting me. It was like the world fell in line under the command of a single entity that hated me, Magneto i believed, and by using the coldest taboo he was able to just rip life from under me.

Now i have to consider that this is untrue and just a paranoid thought. I have to consider that i was hearing voices. That i was creating a story to explain everything from my own perspective about my own perspective and it just was untrue.

Even writing this, it is hard to break the habit of talking about any of this without reverting to “Nemsis using Chasm is the cause of everything and i’m not stupid, i just have zero control over anything.” I haven’t figured out how i will actually accomplish this.

But i do have a time frame i would like to write about. Prior to the Hospital and during the hospital that just happened two months ago. Leading up to it and the hellish experience of that immensely awful dungeon they call a hospital.