(Writing i conducted in the past concerning CHASM. Outdated, but shows progression.)
I have tried every other possible avenue, but I cannot take the psychological abuse any longer. My family, primarily, have all joined in on this cyber/technological based abuse. No physical abuse, but the extent of which they have used technology, resources, and their time to have a campaign of terror always going is breaking me. And nothing is ever admitted. I have approached them so many times over the years, but it has always led to deflections that I have become so acquainted to, it crawls on my skin when I hear it used by everyone to explain something they don’t believe. Or, maybe, they don’t care to believe because it’s only affecting me. “It’s in your head. Symptoms of your mental illness. It’s not even possible. Nobody would do that to you. You are not that important. You are just overthinking. You are using too much caffeine or whatever.” No matter what, it is never just the truth, it’s always it’s YOUR problem.
At this point, I have more than enough evidence to prove this is a conspiracy that uses cameras, microphones to record me. Speakers to talk shit to me (this will have to be investigated but its true). They use IOT devices, my phones, everything has been infiltrated and hacked. They have complete control of my entire network and use it watch me and abuse me. The phone is the biggest culprit. For years they just been watching, listening, and reading everything I do on my phone and I didn’t believe it. Nobody believes it ever! But until it happens to you, it is hard to believe both, that technology could be so easily used for immorality, and two, that people are cruel enough (and protected by being invisible) to do this.
I have simply tried to found out what is real and what is not in my life after very horrible addiction and mental illness. And, 11 years ago, when I first broke, I was so vulnerable and weak and ignorant that I couldn’t do anything at all if I wanted. And, since everyone (EVERYONE) supported the idea that it has to be delusions and not experiences I was being hurt by.
But, in my gut, even in the beginning, (it was the cause of why I broke down and went to the hospital in the first place) I felt like I was watched and monitored. Then I heard my parents talking about me but…I couldn’t hear them well when they were quiet. I was still in the mindset that everyone had given me a second or third chance at life and no funny business was happening. But, it gets even worse than that.
I’m not going to define what technology is used to achieve what they are doing because I do not want to be wrong and I do not want to sound like a loon. They are using some speakers, hidden in the house, to filter their voices so that they are barely audible. This causes an effect, when done while watching the person (which they definitely were) of being able to make them hear their voices without knowing the location. It might even involve some other filters that suppress something, I’m not sure, or maybe even a device I am not even aware about. But I believe it’s simply speakers of some sort.
So this is going to cause controversy. But I need this to be taken serious. I have enough recordings of examples when I heard them in my room and even have been able to sort of make the clearer. But I do not have the resources or knowledge to do audio forensics. However, I did do a deep dive into how the human ear works, how hearing works, acoustics, psychoacoustics, speech recognition, how sound works, and there is so much more that I didn’t even complete it. I knew that nobody will believe me. I know what the consensus is even online. Electronic harassment is seen as a joke, a conspiracy.
But that is a dangerous idea, especially when it is so obvious that technology is going into directions we never thought possible. It was always in inevitability that some sort of “hallucination” tech would emerge. I don’t even know what the actual methods they are using on me, but I do know they have complete control of my environment being a single man living with his parents, and ample opportunity to install whatever they wanted and just basically free reign for many months when I was away at the hospital, it is very possible that it’s just speakers at low amplitude. But dismissing it as “in your head” is fine, if it is. If it is not in your head, if people are using streaming abilities to speak toward me in real-time in very negative ways that is a big issue.
And if the thought occurs that this is not that bad…well I have to tell you, from experience, it’s been absolutely horrendous not being able to tell reality from not reality. I don’t need to give that much feedback on the history right now, but they systematically made me think I was hallucinating voices while lying to my face that they were the ones doing it. And the more I think about it, the more I feel so crushed.
Because it’s been doubt that I clung to most of this length of time. My therapist always emphasized that this was “impossible” that “your family are incapable of doing this” and “it has to be delusions.” So, my family telling me this, my therapist, and everyone, I clung to that most of the time early on. But, of course, if it was in my head, I would have gotten better. I can handle voices in my head, but what they told me so candidly was a vast information dump of everything I do wrong, or say wrong, or just so much revealed by these voices about the other aspects of this whole thing.
I’m left with two different worlds going on concurrently. What I can see and hear from physical interactions and what I can hear and think about from these people. This is how I describe it, they have split me into two different people. The one, they see and pretend and manipulate and tolerate and act nice to. But, with nothing holding them back on the mic, this other version of me was hated. This other was just nothing to them. I mean, I have heard the worst things possible from them about me that I have learned a lot about them. Stop
I need to describe who I am referring to in just straight language. (I usually stick with pronouns and code type of words). First, my sister Monika krulikowsky and she husband Pete. I worked with him before I lost it and am certain people from my old job were involved before I left. Right now, I can only imagine how many people have been exposed to illegally obtained material from hacked devices or spy cams in my room, but I see them as peripheral to the actual perps.
Next is my father. I won’t beat around the bush, I live in his house and he does not want rent from me, so freely. But they are my parents and I am legally handicapped with my disorders. I have lived with them my entire life and inside that house for more than 20 years. And they have been great parents most of my life and still act, on the surface, that they are the same. But it’s not true. I don’t know when, but in a generality, he had to give the person with the knowledge of computers and hacking and video cameras and mic access to the house with the intent of using this to spy on me and to never ever let me know. Who are the ones who did the things I know he can’t? Well, Pete and other relatives of his and also a coworker were very intuitive might have had the skills to do what was done.
As for the setup, it might have been a company he hired. I try to find an answer in my own opinions on who could do what they did, but my dad is very good with certain construction stuff but bad with tech. He could have had help from Pete or someone. Or, the whole thing was done by professionals. Which brings up another possibility, since they work and have money they could buy almost anything and everything needed to set it up. I really don’t know, so I can only guess about stuff like that but it still is an insight.
My mom, who I love dearly, I wanted to believe was not a part of this but I think they were including her in the harassment from early on. I give her a pass, but it has gotten worse more recently, where I feel like she does not give a fuck about me anymore and I feel numb. She is nothing with this whole conspiracy.
So, you have the mastermind who is Monika, the tech person who is Pete, the facilitator and property owner who is my dad. My whole family seems to be involved now, too, on my father’s side and only Jersians. So, that includes, my Cousins Olivia and Jessica and her mother, my aunt, Irene. For the most part, they are only more gas lighters who really hate me and, in some cases, provide the voices of harassment.
6 people he said once…this the core group that share everything and are connected. I once believed that I was being bothered by more people from my past, for Tans, or friends of the core group who might have some special traits. But, over the last three months of reality checking, I conclude that the conspiracy is made of the Core family members, who can manipulate info and only show what they want to others. And I do believe they have exposed me to others. I wonder about that too…..am I on the internet somewhere masturbating. I don’t know for sure. But anyone and everyone with a connection to me and them have been, in slight or harsh ways, defamed and made into a joke. How far does this go? Have they called medical providers, dentists, acquiesces I met (Imani), old friends, etc. and showed them stuff and told them stuff. Have they ever impersonated me?
Look, this is getting worse and they are getting more brash and arrogant the more I standup for myself, my privacy, my rights, my dignity, and my life by investigating everything to this point. I have also included so much inane things when I do some self talk or write in my notes. Ranging from the most random stupid idiotic word salad to specifically addressing specific ones with insults and curses and just more stupid loose words. Yet, I never used their names, so when I would hear this or that voice react…I mean it just made it so simple to expose them. I mean, like talking about “your mother is in hell….you are a vain narcissistic person who doesn’t exist underneath the heavy layers of the shit you put on your face.” I will say this, to myself in my room, very softly and whisper, and V3 (what I call Jessica in other places) will respond with some idiotic insults trying hurt me….but I have dealt with this long enough that it doesn’t even bother me as much as the fact that my privacy has been ignored so that they could record me, then she gets a hold of it (I have theories how info flows inside this group) and speaks an hour away at her house into her phone (maybe) which then transmits it to whatever the devices are that make the voices. It is so obviously them.
But recently, it’s so much worse and obvious. The ones who give it away the most are my parents honestly. They behave just like two liars who know this is happening would act. But, I forgot a more recent thing that has been implemented in the last couple of years... A communication network exists so that my parents can hear (through earbuds? This is one thing I do not have any surety) the others who are currently on and the others can hear my parents (and me) because anything said aloud seems to be heard by them. This is also part of the voices, because I don’t always hear them talking toward me, they are talking to the others who are replying and for some reason, I can hear this. The purpose, I think, is just to fuck with my head so much that it bothers me to the point I do “a thing”. So the more voices the better.
And the last days, especially today, it has been made very plain that this is the truth. I have records of this in my journals and probably videos of myself in my room. When he came home today, I immediately picked up that he had already the info about what I said to the voices in my room, about signing an NDA as an idea to get peace. Yes, I am directly addressing them, talking, pleading, crying out to stop and that has become more and more abrasive. I am just so upset by this. Anyway, he was supposed to install my AC in my room but first went downstairs for a bit.
While I was sitting in my room still being harassed by V2 and V3 (Monika and Jessica), he was taking too which is often times hard to pick up or just him talking to himself. But nope, he was having a discussion with them about me. It was all part of this COMM system, invisible to me, but utilized only by them to fuck with me. They never talk about anything else. And while I waited and I also whispered back to the voices from inside my room and his downstairs, and it was bad. He was brutally unrepentant and angry at me for…what? Still to be determined. But I was also being sarcastically aggressive and just upset.
And this happens to me every time. He finally came upstairs ready to put in the ac. What was his demeanor? Mood? It was jovial and normal as always. I am not acting at all. I am very confused and this is just bothering me to no end that he can just become another person when I’m in his face! It’s incredible, but maybe I am an idiot. And while he didn’t even remotely give off anything he was saying downstairs he was my father. I am saying to myself, all the time, “Who is that other person!” Because, that other person is so monstrously hate filled and hell-bent on my destruction that I always think, this time he won’t be acting.
My realization is they do not care. They won’t let up the act. That is the power that has been used against me. If I cannot prove it (even if I could it still won’t seem true), than I will look like a maniac who is hearing voices that are not real. With them all together, sticking to this game plan, nothing I say will ever work toward anyone, ever. I will always sound like a crazy person because that is the point. So I just upped my acting, and it was a normal interaction….yet, he laughed at my panicked state, blamed it on it being humid and….he is enjoying this. They all are. I am a scapegoat for that purpose, to make me suffer so they don’t have to.
I already wrote too much without saying anything. There is never enough space to explain something so complicating and filled with things that are hard to believe. But I have had that in my mind the whole time. I said, “They cannot be able to do this, too much time!” Yet, they are using enough time, not all their time, to do this. And they can switch or just stop if they want for two hours. I have detailed in my journals when I hear them when I don’t for months, years. A pattern exists, I am sure, but I have so much data I cannot do it all.
“They cannot do this, they are not that bad.” I have them on record saying this and it’s just not true. People have shown meanness to every extent throughout history. The idea that “this person cannot do that” is just not true, if the “that” is possible. I do not care about the reason anymore, but the basic fact is they are narcissism people who have zero moral qualms about invading my privacy or even hurting me with psychological torture. To them, that is not what is happening at all. A million justifications I’ve heard from them, everything I say in opposition can just be twisted and contradicted, and, in the end, they can just lie. Lie to everyone, including themselves. This family is a mob of toxic personalities that enjoy this. I believe in truth and logic and morality and justice. They do not have these constraints and humans, examples aplenty, coherently, can act completely incoherently, illogically, idiotically and trying to give the argument “They wouldn’t do that!” is meaningless.
They have done it. I do not care why. I care how, when, where, and who. I know it is happening already, I have surety that they have used so much time and resources that will not seem plausible. The extent of their devotion to this is now absolute that it must be second nature, almost like a job. If I am not hearing any hallucinations at all, than it is so much worse cause it follows me with my phone inside my car and even now in the library. And at each point that I SEE IT, I think, “HOW is it happening” and find the possible ways and make assumptions and theories that don’t always pan out. But the more times it happens, the persistence, I gain just a little more understanding, until I must say, “This is the facts.”
The Many Violations of Civil Rights of Stephen W.Rys
I lived under the yoke of "mentally ill" stigma for 12 years (more than that if you include previous years). Since my first Hospitilization and the face that i refused to go back to the job that was very instrumental in my breakdown, i have been "Schizo" and "psychotic", or as They say "insane", "crazy", "psycho" and other undisdinguishable nouns that are meant to dehumanize me.
My Family is very nice and have supported me for my entire 38 years. Financially speaking, i'm good. And to my face, everyone tries their hardest to make me feel "at ease" with lukewarm niceties.
What is the issue than?
Well...After 11 years of not having friends or a job or any sort of outside support other than doctors or therapists, i realized things are quite not as they seem. It was a very slow, long realization that took so much time because i was in denial and i didn't want to believe. more importantly...everyone and i mean EVERYONE denied the plausibility of my "paranoid thoughts" being somewhat based on environmental, not psychological, problems.
Withint the last year abouts, i have found myself. i have let go of my shame and guilt and negativity that i had toward myself and my life. i am 38 now but....i'm ready to move on. Finally.
But the gigantic roadblock just slammed down in front of my feet like 5-6 months ago. What happened? i don't know excactly. (i have theories). But what i do know is that my Family and My Environment changed. And this is nnot the first time this has occured.
So basically i will go through the many things that are occuring in my daily life which i intend to Prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, is not from psychotic symptoms of a mental disorder such as schizophrenia, but actually intentional gaslighting done by many people....i don't know how far it goes.
I have to admit, i do have bipolar disorder and might have become psychotic in the past. Because of this, there is going to be some blending of what is reality, what i think reality is, and what is a deception.
I dont know where to start. i don't want to start. this is a horrible situation which no one can phathom. It sounds crazy. Right now in the library, i am still hearing a shadow of the V1 and v2 (where is it coming from?)
So the first violation-Privacy
When i went to the hospital the first time, my subcon. already picked up on this. But only now, after 11 years, i can finally see it.
It must have started with my sister. She must have recorded me in the past, maybe in high school, (i do remember her having a recorder for college). The how isn't important. She has to be the center of it all.
So i'll make a couple of assumptions. 1 she knew about me talking to myself. 2 she recorded me doing so. 3 she must have known about my search history (at the time i was in highschool and finding out about early 2000 Internet P2p music and other stuff). she always acts like she is ignorant of this stuff, even now. But i think she just never addressed this. no one did. My mom and dad knew i had one of his tapes when i was still 13 or around that age. i was exposed to this early. 4 is that she made fun of me to her friends. So when i hung out with her friends, they saw me already as a wierdo who talked to himself and watched hardp.
Why is this important? This sets up the things which would transpire from when i got the job at thea and where i am now.
She started Pete (NOW) and...to put it simply, he is a difficult person to deal with or talk to. Brother-in-Law could have been a dream. instead, i got a version of myself that was worse in the things i have problems with and better at other things. We never had a chance at being friends. not only that, he already had a younger brother who.....was a person i wanted to be, cool, in a long term relationships with a cool ass chick, and skinny.
They, at first, had a wierd relationship. But now, after years of living with their wives and having kids, they are.....actually i do not know at all.
The problem with Pete is, i don't know who he is at all. He hides himself from even my sister. I dont' kno0w if i ever met the real Pete or Josh.....but i thinki iknow now....they are not good. They are bastards. They are just living for a laugh. Trolls. Bullies.
Well, why would i say that? i worked with both of them in Thea for 2ish years. Never became friends with them. But i saw them, every day, for that time.
Loook, i suck. Don't get me wrong. But why am i always alone in this shit? They had eachother, what the fuck am i needed for.?
let me get back to the whole thing. I was an aweful person who did heroin and just sucked. Now i know i am Bipolar and an addict. But then....i prolly looked bad. But how did they look?
Ok. So now i set some scenery up i can get to the point. At some time, they started recording me. i don't know how, i don't when it started, but Pete, My sister, and Josh (prolly others involved from thea) started to record me for fun.
They didn't do it for my benefit because there was never any help given when i injected myself, or said i wanted to die, or whatever. They just used this as fuel for their dusgusting voyerism.
I cannot prove this. all i have is what i felt the day i left. I was picking up the vibe of people talking about me. but not about me in person but WHAT THEY COULD NOT KNOW.
i felt sooooooo embarassed. i couldn't breathe. i suddenly stood up and walked out of that place for the last time and never ever went back fuck that place.
So....Still no proof other than what i felt and went through up until that point. how, where, when it starte4d? I don't know.
My theory is Thea (the consortium of assholes involved i mean) targeted me for this reason, to harrass, bully, and make fun of a person who Needed Help. And my sister had to be involved because they must have had access to my room.
That is the past. The beginning. but not the end.
Ten years later and it is still occuring. This time i have better proof and a clear mind.
So breach of privacy includes hidden cameras, hidden microphones, and hidden speakers within or around my room. My phones have been hacked (which may have been the most devious device that caused everything. i don't know). Privacy may have been breached in the Bath room too.
Also, when i got hospitalized for the first time, i had hardrive from my computer and a detachable one that had stopped working. in my mania, i wanted to destroy EVERYthing That i was!....i hate it now. i wish i never did but....i felt like i had to.
Mostly speaking, my writing. as for the History, its embarrassing, but now i am fine with this....I only had legal music. Even if it was "bad" it wasn't "evil"....
Anyway, when i left, these drives were DESTROYED. i did not tell them to do this but i was glad. They told me this 10 years ago so even if they exist, they no longwer belong to me and they lied about destroying my property. And if they looked through them, they did so without my permition.
Along with that, my mental breakdown broke me and broke my family a little i think.
My guess...my dad started to join in on the VDP. I think she told him what "Really happened" and he.....he broke. his will broke. his love broke.
But.....because of my mother, they wouldn't get rid of me. Alsoe, they could not just abandon their family to save face.
When i went to the hospital that time, i thought i was going away forever. That they had me on "BEAINg CRAZY".
But the thing is.....that is not how it works. i was diagnosed with a psychotic bipolar disorder and my family visited me the next day ASIF NOTHING HAPPENED!
So....i just want to say my family have been there for me this whole life, especially my parents. But i do not want dwell on that right now. i need to let everything negative and illegal out. Because they have been busting me up now and i can't take it.
So, i came home to a new room. They changed everything. Painted the walls. Put a couch in there. Was it in good will or a diversion?
Anyway, i started becoming myself again and immediatly...immediatly felt that i was being watched. Why? How? am i psychic?
No.....Behavior and What they say! they talk about it!
Before the hospital, i never heard voices. i talked to myself, but never heard voices.
Then, when i got back, now on antipsychotic medication, i started hearing EVERYTHING. I call it unintentional eavesdropping.
That is when the gaslighting began. so i would say, straight up, am i being monitered? and they would say no. i would say i heard this or that and they would say your hearing voices.
Then i did start hearing low voices....this is where the speakers did the work. i can't remember exactly, but i know, that this would occur at certain intervals. 4 times, i can count, that this happened to the point of me wanting to kill myse3lf. if the voices were real and not in my head then.....So much to say about that. Constant harrassment, threats, blackmail, kill yourself, so muc h pain over all that time and only now am i saying "this isn't a Hallucination!!"
But nobody believes me. So, i am checking reality. And i notice many things about these voices.
First, they sound like people i know. Second, they change. Now they sound as if they are talking to themselves. Third, they only operate at certain times. Fourth they come from different places. (this one is key)
into the fifth, they are directional. So, how can they be in my head if they are comming, clearly, from the other room and if i close my door they don't sound so loud. Andother one is either in my room to the left or outside the house.
So, using Technolgy to spy on me, harrass and threaten me, break hippa laws (along with others), break hacking laws. I would call this cyberbullying. i would also call this, if naked pictures of me in any way were send thru email or text, then revenge music or illegal. Shaming me for my sexual behavior is also what is happening. I am called Lion and Tiger, which is plainly, not true. I don't know what they are referring to but it is BS.
This goes into the next bigun. Defamation of character. I do not know how far but Mon, in particular, has broken my character down into a deviant. I am certain many people have been told this lie. And nobody that is connected to me is clean from this lie. This has destroyed my reputation. i cannot try to find friends because they know what i do on the phone and they can just tell anyone this lie.
This is the one i cannot let go. someone has to pay for this.
I know gaslighting is not a crime, but it should be. For 10 years, i lived in fear as a mentally ill person, hearing voices that had no body but had intention. This is abuse. This is not right. I am free for a second now in the library but i am afraid to go out.
They have cause irrepairable damage to my life, to my reputation, to my mental health, and what am i supposed to do? Most are my family, that i still love. Why do they continue?
So now, they are trying to passive-aggressively make ME THE EVIL ONE and to leave by exploiting my hearing, saying "everything i hear is a hallucination." unfortunatly.....i now have proof that this is not true. Because i recorded them for once and now i have to make a decision....
Medical History
Dates
2002, Senior year in High School, started Paxil and Seeing Dr. Nam Kim in Clifton. 16 years old
2003, still in High School, started working at Walgreens in the spring.
2003, started Montclair State University first year in September.
2004, second semester in January.
Third Semester in September I stopped taking my meds for the first time and it turned on me
2005- I skipped the fourth semester in January. Went back on SSRI. I worked a lot more at Walgreens and got some “respect” because I was a reliable worker.
Started my fourth semester in September and finally declared my major in English, Writing.
2006-fourth year at college started. Meet new, younger, friends because I was still at Walgreens. Even though I was in college, I started to hang out with teenagers in high school. Innocent at first. I met them this year.
2007-Started very good. Friendship with C and D and others turned into a fun summer. We went to six flags and hung out.
But at the same time, D started to get into drugs. And….i was too curious. This was the year I tried heroin. started with weed and stuff…
I quit (just stopped going) my job at Walgreens. At that time, I could remember W/d s.
also fifth year at college started September.
2008-fuzzy but I had another semester, plus had two courses in the summer. Finally finished. Didn’t go to graduation, but got a degree.
My cousin, J, got me a job at Bob’s Store cause they didn’t want me to be without a job (fam pushed me a lot, but didn’t know about my problems yet. Later this year, they would find out)
Started Bobs March or April?
During working their, I crossed a line, and started to see these people in Garfield. Before that, I only had D to give me drugs. But he disappeared and I was fiending...so I found T number.
Garfield during 2008 was crazy. I got deeper into my addiction and did very stupid things all the while working at Bobs and finishing college.
Sometime in the summer, D came back and wanted to go to Garfield to see T. I was working that day, but because I couldn’t get any H, I drank Vodka. A coworker noticed. My cousin J was working that day and I asked if I could leave because I felt sick.
Me and D went to get high but J called my house. Before this, I had let go and told my sister about my H problems. Shit hit the fan, my sister called me and said “we need to tell them.” so that day, after getting my H, I came home, went to the bathroom to shoot up, and then told my family I was addicted to Heroin.
The impact was….big. I stopped going to and ghosted T and Garfield (at the right time too, because they were about to be raided.)
2008- I started Suboxone. Went back to Dr. Nam Kim, and he was luckily certified. I explained to my mother how Suboxone is a cure like drug to reassure her. And I was good for a while. (a couple slip ups but goood enough.)
2008-Semptember-D, even though he was the worst influence in my life, got a job in a good Granite company and somehow persuaded them to get me a job too. So I quit Bobs Store and started working at this place fullish time, next to D. Good decision? Bad decision? Idk, but better pay and Bob Store was not treating me kind.
2009-My actual Graduation date was January.
This year, was just working and getting high on and off. I don’t have much else.
2010- another year where I don’t have much. Somewhere in this time period, I did try Detox and an Outpatient program all in Bergen Regional. I failed the OP after three weeks. I had no way of dealing with the horrible W/D’s and working directly across from D.
working together was a problem…
2011-June I decided to quit All Granite. D had got me the job and we were not doing good. I decided, I needed to go. I quit.
I also don’t remember when exactly, but I did try an inpatient rehab at some point before Thea and after All granite. I lasted a week inside, couldn’t deal with the people and my Mental problems, so I left and got high that same day….i just continued on Suboxone and I guess my family thought I was doing fine.
I was without work until….
2012- My sister’s friend got my Brother in law a job and he got his brother and me a job at Thea. I started January. I believe this may have been the worst decision of my life, for certain reasons. I worked there till the end of 2013 full time. I was also, getting high all the time and even doing Coke from another source. Not good, very bad drug addiction. I also drank a lot.
2013 Christmas eve, I stood up and left my job. I had become psychotic and paranoid about them watching me and making fun of me and my subconscious suddenly exposed this idea to me...my plan was to take the check for Xmas I just received, go home, cash it, get as much heroin as possible, and maybe kill myself. My dad came home early….very strange to have just caught me from leaving.
I never went back to Thea….
December, 25 2013 – The Day. Hung over after drinking on Vegelia, Xmas Eve, when my family came over. It was really bad.
Three weeks in Clara Mass. Parents called Paramedics. In hospital, first started on Antipsychotics, Mood stabilizers, and diagnosed with Psychosis and bipolar disorder. I believe, Depakote, Seroquel were the drugs that I first started with.
Post Hospital Care- High Focus in Paramus – lasted around 6 weeks through January and February of 2014- don’t really remember too much. Graduated and a lull…
2015 February I made a suicide attempt. A serious one for the first time. I took as much heroin as I could buy, a bottle of benedryl, I drank all the alc in the house, and other things. My father came home, waited for my mom, and they called the paramedics.
2/9-2/20 in St Josephs Psych.
February into March-after discharge, went into an outpatient program called Cope in Paramus. Lasted three ish weeks before I had gotten incredibly suicidal after hearing “Voices”….i went one day into the program (which was only one group session per day maybe twice a week, I don’t remember) I told the group how I was feeling and whatever I said was bad enough that the lady, Susan very nice woman, kept me from leaving and driving. I didn’t fight back or say “you don’t have the right” I just went with it because I truly was suicidal and out of touch. She called my parents who she told “he needs to go to the hospital immediately.”
We got home and the next day they drove me in. I still hear the voices….
I went to Clara Mass March or April 2015 for three weeks. In there, I met a Nurse Practitioner who helped me a lot. Since I was suicidal, he put me on Lithium. And at the same time, for three weeks in that place, I stopped Suboxone for the first time successfully. I don’t know how I did it but I was actually clean from all opiates for some time.
2015 April – May They wanted me to go somewhere in Paterson for aftercare, but I called this place in Clifton called AFHS so I went there for around 6 months.
In that time there, was the first time I was put on Vivitrol. I think this is also the first place that put me on GaBA.I did it about four times there. I never used once while in AFHS and it was going good.
Until….voices and the coincidental things...
2015 September….Doing really bad. Stopped going to AFHS. Paranoid about what people were saying behind my back. We drove in again into Clara Mass. Voices again in the car even. They were doing it right?
While in Clara Mass, my parents visited me the second day and something set me off. I was certain they wanted me dead but more certain they were like I was some evil devil or something. They gave me magazines. Inside one of these magazines was a picture of the pope, like a laminated picture. And I felt it was my mother telling me….she put it there on purpose.
So in the hospital I snapped, and was like I can’t live anymore. It was definitive. I tried to kill myself in my room, while everyone was in the common room. I tried to hang myself with bed sheets or choke myself. If I had more time it would have been successful, but like five minutes into the attempt, my roommate came it. I laughed while I tried to choke myself out while they came in
Now on suicide watch and given the good stuff. In the middle of the night, the nurse says your being transferred. She gives me so much drugs I thought she was doing me a favor by killing me but I also remember being afraid.
September 5 for three weeks I was in East Orange General under suicide watch….
The doctor wanted me to get discharged but I didn’t want to. He suggested ECT for the first time. I was transferred to a long term facility.
October 2015-February 2016 I was in ESSEX County, Very good experience, Made a lot of relationships...they were nice to me and I knew it wasn’t me personally that people didn't like. It was some other BS. I was put on Klonopin for the first time while there and I met my therapist, Barbara, who I still see to this day.
After Essex
February of 2016- After care in St Mary's Seton Center. Conflict with mother but she said its OK. Was there for a while, but eventually left around April. Was taken off of Klonopin (bad idea, idk why they did that.)
2016 While There, I got my SSD. My mother helped a lot and we submitted it in the beginning of the year I think, and finally received it. Very happy, and got a lot of back pay too. Could have left then….
Started to go to Bergen Regional, New bridge- 2016, but really got stuck into that place in 2017
2017-Ambulance overdose on Exctasy and Seroquel (actually a panicked suicide attempt)was in St. Josephs from 10/29/17-11/2/17 very bad experience...
I was on a Vivitrol shot from 23-20-17------6-7/19 Mary, a nurse, helped me a lot. I got charity care because of the expense and stayed in that place right until COVID started. I was also restarted on Gabapentin which I still take today. He upped the dose very high, to 4 x800.
2017- I also started seeing a guy “on the side” but was my psych too. His name was Dr. Kurien and he was in Jersey City. I got his name from a person I met in ESSEX who knew the good doctors.
2017-2019 I cant remember exactly when, but I got really addicted for a little to Heroin. I went into a really shitty detox in Paterson (Straight and narrow?) and left after a couple of days because of the people again. I was also very paranoid and...not well...but I did end up stopping without Suboxone.
So I was seeing him in 2017 and 2018 primarily to get Klonopin, which was deprived from me at Seton Center for “Reasons” but worked so well. This eventually stopped and I got another, outside, source. So I never really stopped it.
8-22-19 had an overdose and went to St Mary's (mom not happy) (year before ...born)
5-24-20 Had an overdose (year ...born)- EKG ambulance
7-9-20 I started TMS for a month until 8-31-24 In Paramus
2-4-21 I went back to Nam Kim for two months, thinking he was going to be a good idea. But he stopped Klonopin (I told him I was being subscribed it and I wasn’t but I needed it) so I felt...i needed to stop seeing him again.
Around that time, I relapsed hard with Kratom which led to an opiate addiction. I didn’t want to deal with it too much….so I decided to go back on Suboxone
4-22-21 - 6/21– started an online program called Workit to get Suboxone.
4-26-21 found a new psychiatrist, Yuli Fadkin. Saw him for about two years. It was Micheal Feldman I saw.
11/3/21 -1/19/22,4/22,8/22 switched to Pursue online program. I don’t remember, but I think I stopped |Suboxone thinking I would be alright. I wasn’t, so I found this place cause they would not accept me back in Workit
10/24/22- went back to Workit ( a better program) I am still there getting Suboxone
10/28/23 -stopped seeing Micheal Feldman, and went to another psychiatrist closer to home at Gold Standard, Beloved Martey, after telling him my situation, he was able to start me on a dose of Klonopin (which I was already taking but now it was official)
2/10-/4 – 2/14/24 Ended up in the hospital. I wasn’t able to sleep hearing my family talk (or “voices”) they were threatening me and I heard everyone...i couldn’t sleep for three days. I also was taking Modafonil. I heard my C, J, threaten me with some frame job that involved something and I flipped. (I was not okay at that point, I had wanted to go to a hotel, was trying to find a lawyer and was/is still feeling my family is doing these things on purpose) So I ended up calling 911 on myself…
worst experience in the hospital up till this date. I really lost any hope and changed for a while….The reason for the Hospitalization was...when the cops arrived I fumbled on my words at first and said “I should have just killed myself instead….” maybe that would have been a better decision.
2/14/24 Anyway, my parents and family acted like nothing happened! I went back to my room and life but I still hear it all the time and am trying to find the truth.
Meds I have taken:
Lamictal 25 mg
Remeron 45mg
Seroqual-from 25-400
Depakote
Lithium
Thorazine (for a little)
Abilfiy (for a little)
Haldol (bad reaction in ESSEX)
Resperdol (was on it recently but didn’t like it)
Welbutrin (several tries at a SNRI but always made me feel worse)
Gaba obviously
Klonopin, Xanax,
I have taken almost every SSRI-Paxil,Lexapro, Celexa, Zoloft
Drugs: Alchohol, heroin, Xanax, Roxies, oxy, Extacy, Coke, kratom, Weed
Drug Rehab
2 times in Detox
1 outpatient
1 inpatient
3 suicide attempts
5 serious overdoses
5 ambulance rides
about 5 outpatient Psych Day places- Cope, High Focus, Seton Center, Newbridge, AFHC
Different hospitals- Claramass, St Josephs, Newbridge, East Orange General, Essex County,
about 10 different Hospitalizations of Psych or Drug Reasons.
Drug Aspect
The STATEMENT
Possible sendingry
I do not know everything in the situation but I can determine many things. I do not know for sure who is the “expert Hacker” or if it was someone hired, but I do have possible names.
This is not a joke. I am trapped in this situation and I am fearing for my safety. They are actively mocking me about the crimes they commit by using spy tech to watch me, listen to me, and use speakers to make me hear voices. I can identify them now.
This has been occuring for 10 years….but maybe longer. This is not a recent development of hallucinations. They are now saying “he knows everything”….which is not good, because what I think I know is bad enough that what I don’t know frightens me.
Basically, my family who I have depended on and has been there for me foreve, are just acting to my face that they love me. But in essence, guided by my father’s insane confidence and inability to ever think he is wrong and my sister’s misguided start to this whole mess, my family now has all been corrupted to make me out to be something I am not and treat me less then human.
I am being tortured psychologically by them. Just to make this absolutely known, I have consented to NONE of this and they have not revealed anything themselves. This is gathered from the hubris of them telling me everything and me being very deductive overthinker.
They completely disregard any privacy to watch me everywhere (I think even in the bathroom). But it doesn’t stop there. They monitor my phone as if I am a baby or a terrorist. Instead, they read private documents and writings I never intended for anyone to read and then assault me with horrible insults and harrassment at watching Legal pornagraphy. If they watched me, then they must have watched me masturbate in my room. I do not watch pornagraphy anywhere other then my room and I do not masterbate anywhere other than my room or bathroom. So how can they even know!
Because of this, I do watch porn still, but I fear to masterbate. It is a basic human function and they need to know if and when I do it. They wash the toilet when I do it in the bathroom….right after...like they saw and knew I did it. I clean up after myself, obviously, but its just so strange and unsettling.
Yet, they know and torment me with these voices from the other room or speakers because I decide to masterbate and watch pornagraphy. It is a sexual violation. Yet, they keep on accusing me of something I don’t even know what or how? I have not hurt anyone. Nothing I do is hurting anyone. Yet they read and watch me do everything and just torture me.
Please don’t laugh at this! Please, I beg you, do not take this as a joke! They are actively torturing me with this technique of planting speakers in specific places in the house, a mic in my room, and a camera hidden somewhere…
I have definitive proof of the voices now. Yes, the voices I have been hearing for ten years have been these people torturing me psychologically and deliberatly with threats and harrassments. I hear them in recordings I have when alone. I have a lot of recordings now, all abtained legally.
The thing is, they pretty much tell me everything I need to know. See I was just assuming after my first hospitalization that I was being recorded but now….in hindsight, so much horrors. I think back now on all the pain and horror these people caused me and gaslighted me into thinking they loved me.
The gaslight is the essential part. Most of them are family. They do not show any anomosity to my face and treat me kind of too nice, as if this is what matters. But then, they use speakers to torture me in my bedroom and bathroom and car, they watch everything I do on the internet no matter how many new phones I buy, they will always hack there way in. They have watched me...they have watched me for 10 years...i don’t know...i can’t believe it but its true…they stalk me..they bully me
And, it spills over into my old job, Thea Inc. I think (i’m assuming this) I think my brother in law Pete Krulikowsky and his brother Josh Krulikowsky, he still works there, have given certain people in that job a live feed into my house. They definetly have given them recordings of me. I have no proof but I know a simple investigation would find that they have illegally obtained nude pictrues and photes of me...these are sexual therefore they have porn. This must fall under some sexual abuse! I cannot take this thought anymore!
They have so much hubris, that even today they are just fucking with me endlessly. They don’t treat me human. I’m not a bad person. They have destroyed my reputation, my dignitiy, my rights, my life!
The defamation also extends far...i don’t how far. Maybe they even posted stuff on the internet. I cannot know because people change...as if someone told them something about me.
And the thing is….some sort of child abuser….i don’t even know where this even came from. I made mistakes in my life but I know, with 100 percent certainty, I have never harmed or touched a child. And I have not watched anything below the age of 18. The laws are strict. I stick with mainstream stuff. I do not or ever have digged into any horrible world of ...that stuff.
I do not want to “self incriminate” even though I know this isn’t what I’m doing. But to make a point of this, I wish to create a lawsuit for this defamation of my character for all this time. I am confident enough in this that I am even talking about it.
They seem to bring it up and then forget about it. Why? Because the reason they are doing this has nothing to do with anything other than for control and power. They are horrible.
I will name them. Marian Rys my father. Monika Krulikowsky my sister, her husband Pete Krulikowsky. My cousin Jessica Vouliric. My other cousin Olivia. My aunt even I’ve heard speaking through the speakers….
Then there are other entities I am certain are involved. They started it. At Thea, my old job, they bullied me and treated me like shit. And...something made me aware that they had been watching or listening to me. This led to my first mental breakdown…
Josh Krulikowsky. Brian Ambrose. And maybe Sean Cannon. Of course, maybe more like Torrey and Howard.
They work at Thea Inc. on 380 allwwod rd. clifton, nj.
And the extent of this….I don’t know how far it goes. It is a conspiracy. Its real. I have the proof. They are not even trying to hide their crimes anymore. Saying shit that I wasn’t even sure of. I had theories but I cannot believe they did this to me for 10 years.
My family….my mother….i love them so much. I am in horrible pain. But my father and whatever this group is have gone too far. I’m furious. They seem to think I am guilty and deserve this...but I’m the victim of actual crimes.
Please, I need a investigation and digitital forensics. A benovolent hacker to find the truth. They must have terabytes of data. The house must be full of things, byond my reach of course, but they must exist. I have recordings that are audible. I can point out where they most probably are.
I will list a series of criminal activities associatied with this whole situation.
List of crimes
Simple List of Crimes
Privacy violations-basic human right is the right to privacy
In bedroom and bathroom is where i am most
Conserned obviously. But the whole house
and car also.
Hacked devices
My phones seem to have been monitered and i do not know how (since there aremany many ways to hack a phone) i can't
prove it. how do i know? Behavior and statements. i know things have been read
(private notes and journals) and my browsing history has been watched (primarily because of born shaming and false statements about the "content"). No fraud perse, but perhaps deletion of emails and other such things to keep me in the dark. Other things that might involve penetrating my accounts. As for the router it is my parents', so i may not have authority orver that but the fact that the wifi is used to monitor my phone when i'm not doing anyhthing illegal....
The speakers: I have proof of this. It took me a long time, but recently they seem to not care anymore so now I have them speaking when they are home and when they aren’t home. How? Certain points in and around my room must have speakers. I assumed this for a while, but this caused me psychological torment because I am a schizo affective person who may be psychotic. It took a long time to prove this.
Microphones: A Mic must exist within my room and bathroom. They hear me and react to me. It is so strong that it can pick up whispers I say into my bedsheets when I lay down for a nap. There is no reason for this whatsoever. I talk to myself, but its always to myself and even if I do say somethhing “insulting” its not to anyone and low when they are home. They use this to torture me….
Harrasment: a long list of stuff which includes the previous things
Recordings: Nonconcensual recordings of me in my room and other places used to harras and harm me including-
Sexual abuse: so i have now been insulted for my genital size and other stuff such as masturbation. This means there is videos of me naked and doing things, in my room or bathroom, because i am very timid and wouldn't do it anywhere else. plus i have gynacomastia which is very horrible and painful to be naked in front of people. This has hurt me the most and has been used to demeen me the most.
Threats: Very many included in the speakers and what i hear. i heard horrible threats by many actors prior to my last hospitilzation which may or may not be true. But i am certain it can be found out.
Stalking: Cyber stalking . The peoplee who do not live in the house are commiting stalking crimes. I have even asked and wrote a cease and desist letter, which they must have seen on my phone. I did not give it to them, but they know.
Bullying: The many people involved and i'm alone. i really don't want anything and wanted peace, but they continued. Now i feel i have to expose this. I don't deserve this.
Intimidation: Everything is intimidating. but i have seen specific people from past in front of my house and other suchthings. not to mention the threats, which get worse everyday. Recently, I noticed something. A pattern. My cousin doesn’t talk much, but whenver it got that bad, she would say the most aweful things such as “you cannot go anywhere, we will see you” or “nobody will ever help you.” Then it got tot he point I was hearing “You are going to prison and are going to get raped for what you did.” This was a lie and I even called the cops when I heard that.
Violation of my rights: Dehumanized view that i don't deserve better treatment or i'm a piece of shit or something. They have continuously violated several of my basic human rights on the basis that i'm different, including right to privacy, right to my sexuality, right to be treated like a human no matter how "crazy" i am
Defaming: look, i don't know how far the defamation goes but it has at least corrupted all my family, people i used to work with, and some of the people i deal with. i cannot state how far it goes but i fear it is meant to encompass the entire planet if they do no stop because i want to live a life and they don't want to give me a chance. I am looking at 4 specific people who i know have defamed me to someone and i can name them. The defamation is about private moments that were recorded (i think) and revolve around sexual and other possibly revolting things i may have done. i do not know how far back they were recording me so it could be from a time i was out of control...but never have i broken the most sacred law of the internet. What it is would be considered legal no matter hwo bad it is. No matter what, no one was ever harmed with my actions and they had no right to record me. but the spreading of the recording makes me want to throw up and faint. this is five to ten years ago or more, i am not the same and this is not right.
Hippa violations: since my privacy has been taken away, they must have seen private call and video calls with my medical providers. the biggest and most harmful one is if the mic on my phone was used during my therapy sessions. that also makes me wanna throw up. If they did this they had me talk about them in privacy with a person i trust....its so invasive and so horrible. I stopped bringing my phone...
Therapist: My therapist has been great this whole time, trying to keep me straing and not just leaving or doing anything. I am not saying she has been corrupted by defamatory claims or contacted by certain people. But she knows I am so paranoid now that I don’t even know if I can trust her. But for the most part, I think she is telling the truth.
Did i mention stalking: im at the library and suddenly my phone that i use for listening to music is also streaming them somehow....I know the phone might be a bigger culprit then anythin g else.
Undercutting me: Even if and when i seek help, since they have a good acounting of me at all times and enough people on it, i cannot seek help. i always feel they will stop me before i get any help by using defamation tactics. So, for instance, if i go to check my phone to see if its hacked, they will know that i am doing this by tracking my browsing and tracking my actual position (my phone and the car are under this net) and know what and where and when i'm doing this so that they can call and stop it. I felt this type of thing happened when i called the cops. immediatly, things changed and i know it becomes "hes fucking crazy blah blah blah" when i didn't do anything to deserve this?!
emotional pain and mental pain or the damage: For the past ten years i have been under a cage of "schizophrenic" stigma and because of the prior things (most of the things have been occuring this whole time on and off {only turning off after a suicid attempt and long stay in a mental hospital})
The pain i have suffered is immesurable. I will take responsibility for the first part because maybe i deserved it. I was a heroin addict and just a sick human being. But i have changed for the past few years. The past 6 months they continued and this time i took a look and found nothing but more and more proof to say that these things a true. And i hate that its them and not my sickness. i much rather it be sickness. But it isn't. Its colors mostly, the most closest, that have done this to me.
Purposefully feeding me false info to make me look crazy. Aslo creating voices to make me look crazy. if the voices are really them, then i know they are either saying things so when i repeat them i sound more crazy or trying to trap me by self incrimination. I have seen this last time with H24.
Framing: This has been my fear for a long time and i still believe it is going on.
So ten years of pain and loneliness. The shame alone made me attempt suicde multilple times. And the hospitalizations were cause byt hem too. Horrible horrible embarrassment and i don't know how i lived this long but its a miracle.
I want my life back. and i don't (or didn't i should say) want anything from them. But this shit just continues so i have no choice. i need to get justice. I need to clear my name. I need them to pay. i don't care anymore. they seemed to have stopped caring about me so...
The damages are....large. And i will make a list of the people i believe to be involved. I don't know what this will entail but i have been sort of called to bring justice of this kind to others because i know it is happpening to others and i know how nobody fucking cares about these lawas as if they do not matter. But they exist and need to be enforced. And, gaslighting is not a crime but it should be. Because if these things are not actually "symptoms" that means they have lied to me the entire time and did it on purpose. The cruelty is unsermountable.
I don’t know what penalty I want….for my family, nothing really. The truth. For those outside my family, let them rot.