Friday

I am trying to find a part-time freelance sort of online-y job so that I can make enough to afford an apartment. I also need to find an apartment or place to live. And I am spending money on this website. Which might be stupid.

But…I realized I have a subscription to Hulu, Disney+, Paramount, Peacock, Amazon Prime (with two subscriptions on top), and Britbox. So i cancelled all of those first since i do not watch nearly enough to have to need to have to have that.

Today, I had peace and quiet until lunch when White callled and acted somewhat odd. After that, during lunchtime, the fucking “voices” have to come and bother me. But i put on headphones on P4 and disconnected from the internet and phone service, listened to “A Kind of Blue” and it was fine.

I heard Gray, Blue, and Yellow, back again. They won’t stop. They, i think, are trying to intimidate me and…basically blackmail me with fear. I do not fear anything. They broke me so that now i am free from such fears of this world.

They need to change but, as AA’s members sometimes say, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” I’m trying something new. They will not succeed in destroying me.