2-11-25 How could they do this?
I am making no more concessions. I used to be very careful to say things like abuse, illegal, hateful, evil, stalking, harassing, abuse, spying, hacking. I used to.
But what I have here is a pretty solid, thoroughly ruminated on, written about, researched, gathered-case. I know what my problem is with CMS and Nemsis. (I know what those words means, in detail.) And I know, I will win the argument in the eyes of any….ANY…objective Judger.
There is nothing in my closet hidden. I have come foward, into the light, and have accepted myself for what I am and the things that weighed me down with guilt and shame, i have either forgiven myself for or found them morally fine.
What they do have is a means of entertainment that have caused them great joy over the years with no possible repercussions. They went to WEST WORLD and just said “fuck it!” And if it was West World, then fine. The imagination is a great place to torture and hurt and do even worse things. FICTION is not FACT.
But they did this in the REAL FUCKING WORLD! To a living human being…A person who has rights, and who has feelings, and who has a brain (what a thing?). A person who has the will to live even in the greatest discomfort, despair, and dehumanizing position far longer than even he thought possible. And i intend to live longer. Like 40 years more. My life is not over.
And my life is not a form of FUCKING ENTERTAINMENT! You wanna laugh? You wanna judge? you wanna watch?
Well….i hope it was worth it. Karma will follow you. You will never ever escape this.
And whatever JUSTIFICATIONS (look up cognitive distortions and…you know other words to fully understand) you have mean NOTHING! This was never a goddam contest or game. I wanted to be left alone. So, trying to throw dirt on me and defame me and call me things and accuse me and lie….i really hope you have some great proof. I really hope you have thought this out. You will lose.
I’ll put it very simply. You have intentionally caused me harm. This is provable. Your actions have been illegal at times, immoral at others, and just goddam creepy at others. I don’t even know the true extent! It makes me quiver….
That is my CLAIM. What is the counter claim? And will it stand up to any poking? Cause I have a good 20 years of deep thinking and learning and understanding. I will BREAK EVERY STUPID AQUASATION! I have thought about assumptions upon assumptions. I have made my mind conjure up every possibility in thought experiments. Avenues that are the most extreme to the least, how, why, where, when, over and over again.
This is my life!…i never asked anyone to care about me. To love me. To expect anything from me and I don’t expect anything from anyone. I am passive. And I love, care about, adore, dislike, pity, hate, etc. in my own way, without any need for anyone’s belief or opinions. You do not have the right to tell me how I feel or what I feel about people. Period.
I can say you must hate me for what you have done to me. What have I done to you ANY ONE OF YOU to deserve this? And if so, HOW CAN YOU NOT BE HONEST WITH YOUR FEELINGS TOOOOOOOO ME….instead of this thing that you are doing? This is an ACTUAL proof that none of the CMS was done in any good faith. It was done to
Fuck with me…period.
And, just so you know, we are not even in the same sport regarding how we are thinking about this. What happens if the flood of hate comes knocking on your door next? “why me?” “i don’t understand” “WHat did i do to deserve this!” Empathy through experience.
Instead of what you have given me for my miserable life, i will give you pity under that duress…. and wish someone, anyone, anyone of you!
HELPED ME
