Invasion

Staring at this blank document equally blank my mind reverts toward ugly emotions I evade and evade want nothing but void but they invade like pests persistent infinite ants marching forward and each one crush diligently is replaced by a dozen more crowding this little space creeping into peace and stealing resources stored for rainy days and its pouring plutonium fire and constant syllables my shelter maintains barely curses clap like thunder under my tongue and muscles spasm veins bulge under the weight heavier than the world I shrug and shrug this is what happens to the bugs crush them again and again but they never die they multiply until a swarm forms in the blank void like words on a page what once was maudlin depression entering like some spirit is changed to hysterical rage impossible to tame much preferred in so many ways no more lamenting some divinely inspired punishment but feeling punished I wail like a silent banshee until nearly tearing off my skin so the steam can settle and don’t combust from within and so much hatefulness so much hate no longer of myself but of everything else...resistance to blind emotion guiding me is a persistent endeavor no matter how strong these hateful things bully me into thinking I’m the one who needs to apologize for some crime let the judgment be passed down already so I can piss on it and be on my way otherwise I can retain my water to piss on whatever I please for that is how I was trained or naturally I be